Thanks for pushing me. 

Dan Kimball has a post that somewhat bridges the differences between you and I.  "If you think I’m going to hell, you should care that I’m going to hell"

He sees hell as a "shutting out" from God, which is a relationship that one has with God—or more precisely, the lack of a relationship one has with God. 

To go along with your example above, being on the inside of a house is a relationship (between you and the house) just like being on the outside of the house.   They are two different relationships that one can have with their house.  Being in God’s salvatory grace is a relationship that one has with God, just as being shut out from God’s good graces is a relationship that one has with God that I call "hell."  

Are geographical locations not sitting in relationship to other geographical locations?  England is closer to Germany than the US—those are relationships.  Aren’t they?

Post mortem is a phrase I don’t see Jesus use, so I don’t know where to start to answer it.

Being shut out from God can no doubt be an infinite relationship—that seems like something along the lines of "eternal torment."  Don’t you?

It seems to me that judgement is a kind of relationship that one has toward others or that God has toward a person or people.  For a person to sit in judgement of you is a different relationship than for a person to sit in admiration of you.